And don't get me wrong, I have no problem with Valentine's Day. In fact, I've always kind of liked it, even in those (many) years where I was single. It's a nice day to celebrate relationships, even with the various cliches like chocolates and flowers and little teddy bears. I'm good with all of that.
But amidst all of the gift giving and dinner and what-not, I feel like most people miss the point of what Love really is (if they ever really knew what it was before, and in my experience most do not). If you ask most people, you're likely to get an answer somewhere in the vicinity of "Well, it's what you feel when you look at the person and you just know how wonderful it is" or a related answer. Basically, your standard Hollywood-fueled response. But here's the question; Is this true?
Scripture never describes love as primarily an emotion, but rather an action. The famous verses from 1 Corinthians 13 go into some detail on the subject:
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.That's a lot of actions words. So if our previous idea of love is incorrect, then what is? Well, St. Thomas Aquinas gives us a wonderful definition; Love is willing the good of the other as other. In other words, it means wanting the best for someone else for no other reason AT ALL other than the fact that they are someone else. Seems simple enough, right? But what does something like that mean for us really?
We can neither add to or take away from God. That is the fundamental principle in understanding what love really looks like. See, if God is perfect and self-sufficient in the most complete meaning of the term, He has no selfish reason to create us. He can't manipulate us, or use us, He has no interest in that. Those things are against His very nature. Which leaves us with one option, and one option alone.
We are here due to a wholly(holy?) generous act of Love. See, God isn't a being that loves, but rather God is Love. When we realize this fact, when we realize that the creator God of the universe loves us enough that He went out of His way to create us for no other reason than so that we may be alive in Him, surging forward as agents of His Divine Mercy, when we learn that our worth stems from this alone, we sink into a great spiritual sense of relaxation. And by opening ourselves up to that relaxation, we become even greater conduits of God's Love.
We are meant to emulate God, to project His Love. So we must accept that Love is not a feeling, but an action. Now, I'm not saying that emotion and passion aren't important things in the human relationship experience. Of course they are. But, in my opinion, our mistaking those emotions and passions FOR love itself is primarily what has contributed to the destruction of the marriage in our society.
So this Valentine's Day, and every day after that, go act out your love for other people. Have a spouse, or a boy/girlfriend? Great, show them that you understand what love really is. Single? Awesome, go volunteer. Become a conduit for God's Love towards others, pouring forth His mercy in whatever way you are able. Even if it's inconvenient.
Especially if it's inconvenient.
